July 22, 2014

  • Totem Element Fire, Part 7

    Towards the end of 1994, I bought Overkill's W.F.O. from the Tower Records on Jones & Columbus. It stands for "Wide Fucking Open." But sigh, what a frustrating listen. It's got the elements (straight-forward drumming, shreddin' riffs, D.D. Verni's "girder beam" basslines, and Bobby Ellsworth's venom-spewing vocals) to make a good thrash album. However, the songs don't put those elements together. I found myself fast forwarding and skipping to the next track. Because W.F.O. is such a maddeningly inconsistent album, I haven't really used it that often as an audiophile reference.

    When I initially listened to W.F.O., I had a bi-wire speaker, the Signet SL-280 B/U. It used a "discrete" bi-wire Kimber 8TC, consisting of two runs of 8TC, joined at the amp end.
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    Of all the speakers at Audio Excellence, Harmony A/V, Performance Audio, San Francisco Stereo Plus, and Ultimate Sound, which speaker "got" W.F.O. the best? The dinky Totem Model 1. Ever since Totem added bi-wire capability to the Model 1 in the mid-90s, ALL Totems have been and are bi-wire models. And so is the Totem Element Fire. As with the Ember I previously reviewed, the Fire's 7" Torrent woofer runs wide open; it does not have a crossover. The Fire's tweeter does have a crossover at its lower range, where it transitions to the woofer.
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    One Saturday morning in February '95, I was to meet ACS in Berkeley. Among other things, we were going to meet a Berkeley/Oakland audiophile, whom I had met at Ultimate Sound. As I was deciding which CDs to bring, I left Overkill's W.F.O. behind.

    When I made it to ACS' apartment just north of the Cal campus, I sat on her bed, which had a slick and cool-to-the-touch green satin sheet set. I noticed some dry, splotchy, whitish stains/residue in the middle of the bed. ACS explained that she had masturbated overnight, and hadn't removed/washed the sheets. She then opened a dresser drawer, and showed me a dildo, a battery-powered vibrator, and a small, wired, and pill-shaped vibrator. ACS then said her preference was to lean back, and keep her legs spread apart. Wide fucking open, indeed.

    Fast forward to summer '95. I had dinner with ACS and her friends at the T.G.I. Friday's which used to be near San Francisco's Cannery. After dinner, about half a dozen of us made our way to one of those "adult entertainment" stores on Kearny Street. ACS was checking out the vibrators and dildos, and noticed that one of her mousey female friends was getting squeamish. ACS then shot back, "Oh, don't act like you don't do it," meaning masturbation. "You just gotta practice. Some don't feel good or work for you, but you won't know until you try."
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    Okay, so what if you use a single run of speaker cable, plus a bi-wire jumper? Running the speaker cable first to the tweeter post does yield an extended, open, and airy top end. However, there are losses in midrange body and timing, losses in bass mass. Consequently, there's something disjointed about rhythms and the music's movement. It's as annoying as ACS' whiny little cunt-tard roommate, who couldn't decide whether she should stay in the room, or get out. Though it possesses some real strengths, this sonic balance is as frustrating as listening to Overkill's maddeningly inconsistent W.F.O.

    Next to the futon sofabed in the living room was a small bowl on a nightstand. ACS and her housemates filled that lil' teak-colored bowl with a wide variety of condoms. They called it the "Cornucopia Of Condoms." ACS said that having such a variety of condoms could make sex spicy, safe, and fun. One of the housemates matter-of-factly said that her boyfriend occasionally did not like the feel, texture, smell, friction, or fit of certain condoms. Moreover, users can be allergic to the condom's material and/or lubricant. But again, you won't know, unless you try. Once you peg what one condom feels like, next time ["What next time?!" everyone complains], use a different condom. Have fun comparing and contrasting, finding which ones work best for you and your partner(s).

    Okay, I tried wiring the Element Fire so that one lead went first to the tweeter post, while the other lead went first to the woofer post. Either way, the tonal balance is skewed. PRAT suffers, kind of like when Overkill's W.F.O. doesn't gel; when your partner lies on your arm and cuts off circulation; when the lubricant makes you itch; when the vibrator is too strong; when the condom is too loose/tight and slippery/sticky; or when your roommate keeps going in and out of the room, to get things while you are in bed with your lover.

    Okay, while we're fiddling around with hooking up the bi-wireable Totem Element Fire, ACS' favorite positions were (1) cowgirl, and (2) doggie style. I recall having a conversation with ACS, where she voiced her displeasure at falling asleep while her condom-wearing boyfriend was in her. She said that, as her boyfriend lost his erection, there was a risk that the condom would leak, thus defeating the purpose. She claimed that, one time, as the she and a boyfriend fell asleep in the spoons position, the boyfriend's penis slowly and eventually slipped out, thus leaving the used condom part-way into her vagina. ACS preferred not having to wake up or be interrupted to remove the condom.
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    Maybe it's due to the lack of a crossover on the woofer, but for single-wire-plus-a-jumper, the Fire likes the speaker cable going to the woofer post first. Then, the frequency response is flat and the Fire's performance gels. Overall, the Fire becomes maximally wide open, transparent, and accurate. The Fire takes whatever you feed it, and (other than deep bass) tells you exactly what's going on upstream. When going to a speaker this clean and free of distortion, ACS says it's like being alone with your hot boyfriend (with or without your vibrator), having bareback sex, and at the same time knowing that you won't get pregnant or acquire an STD. ACS once posed to her friends, "What can be more liberating than that?"